Hockey

Drifted away from my Blackhawks back in the 70s when they let Bobby Hull leave to play in the WHL. I kept up on them from time to time when they had decent teams, like the year they played the Penguins for the Cup, but for the most part hockey became an afterthought for the last 30 years.

Well folks let me tell you, that entire this town has gone hockey crazy again. It ain't just me. This is just like back in the day, and again raises the question of which team rules the city. Everyone says it's a Bears town but you wouldn't know that this year. The management team of Rocky Wirtz and John McDonough have worked an absolute miracle practically overnight, and the Hawks are the hot topic of sports talk again. (It helps that the Bears are this sucky, but still....)

Prior to his death, Bill Wirtz was seen as probably the worst sports franchise owner in this town since Charles "Old Roman" Comiskey. Everyone hated the guy. He wouldn't put the games on TV because he was afraid it would drive down attendance at the Stadium. I'm not kidding. Marketing not his strong suit.The Hawks were losing fans in droves, and seemed on the brink of collapse. Not to sound cold hearted or anything, but it was a great day in Chicago sports when Bill Wirtz died.

Once he shed his mortal coil, his son took over and Rocky has done the unthinkable in the span of just over two years. The Hawks added a couple of really exciting young players in Jonathan Toews and Patrick "Two Dimes" Kane, and filled the rest of the lineup with really talented players. They're sparing no expense either, as the long term, big buck contract of Marian Hossa can attest.

The team also took steps to bring back some old timers like Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull, and Tony Esposito to serve as franchise ambassadors. Those are guys who had been cast off like trash by the old man, so it was great to see the old fences being mended.

The team is exciting, and the Madhouse on Madison is rocking again. Sellouts for every game. AND, the games are all broadcast on TV.

Before he died, as part of his plan to alienate every hockey fan in this city, old man Wirtz fired a guy who is undoubtedly the best play-by-play man in all of hockey, the great Pat Foley. One of the first things Rocky and John McD did was put Foley back in the booth, and as a result I have to admit I never miss a game any more. Foley and his partner Eddie Olczyk do a fantastic job.

But, I will say that if the Hawks felt like they wanted to make it a 3 man booth, I would love to see them steal Randy Moller away from the Panthers. This guy would fit here in Chicago perfectly.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C

I rest my case. We gotta get this guy.


(Oh and, it doesn't hurt that my Blackhawks have the best uniform in the history of pro sports.)

Weeping guitar

My god Dhani Harrison looks more like his father with each passing year.

Here's Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Dhani Harrison, Steve Winwood and Prince hitting a George Harrison classic.

And who the hell taught Prince to play a guitar like that?

First snow

Southwest baby

One reason I don't fly on airplanes is because I don't believe it's physically possible to keep something that weighs that much up in the air. Like the Monty Python hypnotist sketch, I think it's nothing more than the faith of the passengers that keeps the things up there. If everyone stopped believing in Bernoulli's Principle at the same time, I believe we'd see a spate of aluminum showers.

But never mind that. Let's talk about Southwest airlines.

Ever fly on one of their jets? I haven't, but there was a time in my life when I was privvy to many conversations held by people who'd just de-planed from a Southwest flight, or were on their way to board one at Midway. These were not happy people.

"But their TV commercials are great. Why do you people hate Southwest so much?"

"I'm flying to Indianapolis, but first we're stopping in fucking KC, and then Moline, and then Omaha, and then Minneapolis, and then back here to Midway, and then to St. Louis, and then we get to Indy probably by Wednesday."

"I can drive you there in under 3 hours and there's an open bar."

"For $19?"

"Oh. Well....no not for $19. They charge $19 to take you to Indy?"

"And KC, and Moline, and....did you say this is an open bar?"

"It is if we're on a charter to Indy. But since you're paying $16 to ride in a limo from Oak Brook to Midway, you should be glad I didn't toss you in the trunk with the friggin' luggage."

"There's no pre-assigned seating, they jam us in like we're damned sardines, the goofy-ass flight attendants put on these stupid little skits while they're giving the safety instructions, the..."

"What?"

"What what?"

"Skits?"

"Oh yeah, they sing the things sometimes. The emergency exits are dum di dee dummmm back there and lah di dah over there, if we have a water landing then lah di dee dah. Dancing around."

"You're kidding me. Seems like they'd take that shit a little more seriously. Those things have landed on water you know. Might be helpful to know about the Mae Wests and shit."

"They don't care. We're cattle. There's no room to move. The guy next to you smells from being on the plane for 2 days before you got on. Kid next to you is picking his nose, while the little monster behind you is kicking the back of your seat. It's like a flying Greyhound bus."

Now that was a long time ago, and I heard Southwest gave up on the summer stock safety instructions bit about 8 years ago , but I imagine with the current lull in the industry they're still trying to squeeze as many people into their fleet of 737s as is humanly possible. I still picture them as "Flying Greyhound buses."
I saw this come across the "Breaking news" feed from the Tribune's website earlier today.

A baby was born today on a flight from Chicago's Midway Airport to Salt Lake City, according to Southwest Airlines.

The flight, Southwest Airlines 441, has landed safely at Salt Lake City International Airport, according to Chris Mainz, a Southwest spokesman.

The flight originated in Columbus, Ohio with scheduled stops at Midway, Salt Lake City and Boise, Idaho before ending at Spokane, Wash.


The flight landed safely in Salt Lake City?

Why wouldn't it have landed safely for God's sake? It's not like the baby was flying the plane.

Never mind the damned routine landing in Utah. Please dear god tell me the baby was getting off in Utah. Tell me they didn't make a 2 hour old human being stop in SLC and then Boise before continuing on to Spokane.

And I don't even want to know how many people on that flight have that unforgettable miracle moment captured on their phone cams.



UPDATE:

A baby was born today on a flight from Chicago's Midway Airport, and officials said mother and child "were doing fine" at a hospital after the flight was diverted to Denver.

The woman went into labor after Southwest Airlines 441 took off from Midway bound for Salt Lake City, according to an airline spokesman. The flight was diverted to Denver, the nearest airport, at about 11:30 a.m. Central time but the baby was born before the plane could land, officials said.

Paramedics rushed mom and baby to the Medical Center of Aurora outside of Denver, where a spokeswoman said "they are both doing fine."

"It went smooth," said Charles E. McMillan, a division chief for the Denver Fire Department. "There wasn't anything out of the ordinary -- well, except that the baby was born on the plane."

The plane was at about 30,000 feet, and 100 miles north of Denver, when the pilot asked if anyone had medical training, according to airline officials. The flight was then diverted to Denver .

Flight attendants threw down a blanket in the back of the Boeing 737 and a doctor on the flight delivered the baby boy with the help of Med Link, which allows flight attendants to call medical personnel on the ground for assistance, airline and airport officials said.

"We now have a new passenger," said a flight attendant on the jet's public address system after the quick delivery, Channel 7 in Denver station reported.

The father and the couple's other kids were also on the flight, the station said.

The flight originated in Columbus, Ohio with scheduled stops at Midway, Salt Lake City and Boise, Idaho before ending at Spokane, Wash.

The family's identity and their hometown were not released. But passengers on the flight told a television station in Salt Lake City that the couple was from North Carolina and the doctor who helped deliver the baby was from Spokane, Wash.

The hospital spokeswoman said the mother did not want to speak with the media.


Personally, I found Southwest spokesman Chris Mainz's version earlier today much funnier.

Road Trip

Well they've done it again. The people at Budget Rent-a-Car have made me an offer I can't refuse.

$168.40 to rent a reasonably brand new car for the week following Christmas. Better yet, for $24 a day I can put as many miles as I wish on their car. That's a mistake on their part.

Two years ago it was $220 for a 2007 Subaru Legacy with 5000 miles on it. My plan was to retrace the route of the Lewis & Clark expedition, which meant 9 days and about 5500 miles round trip. Only made it as far as North Sioux City, SD but that's a story for the archives.

I'm going to be turning the big Five-O in a couple of weeks and I've decided to treat myself to something. I am in absolutely no financial position to be taking a vacation, at least not the kind of vacation one thinks of when considering a winter holiday. Actually, I'm in no position to be spending $168 to rent a car but I've always operated under a rule that says when you can least afford to take a break from work, that is precisely the time to take a break from work. So that's what I'm going to do. And, my vacation will be spent driving. Got myself a new RCA Small Wonder HD Camcorder as a premium from one of my suppliers, and so I'm going to make a video documentary of my trip and post it here when I come home.

But here's the thing...I don't know to where I feel like driving. Some rough calculations tell me that I can cover somewhere between 4500 and 5000 miles if I just drive drive drive. Not sure I want to do that. I'd like to spend a couple of days driving, a couple of days kicking around, and a couple of days driving home. Whenever I open the Rand McNally Atlas my eye seems to float towards the west. I've done Colorado a dozen times, and it's winter. Not only am I not bringing my skis, I'm not carrying enough cash to lodge in Colorado during ski season.

In fact, I'm in the mood for something warmer. Been southeast a hundred times, ain't no way I'm making Texas my destination (sorry Michael, but that state stinks of Jack), so now I'm thinking southwest. I know New Mexico is high desert so it won't be that warm, but I've always wanted to check out the Very Large Array radio telescope in Socorro.

I've never seen the Grand Canyon, which is just about as far as I'll be able to travel while allowing for a reasonable pace of return, so I'm thinking of hitting those two places.

If I hook north from there I can check out Monument Valley in northern AZ. (Monument Valley was just written up in Vanity Fair. A nice read.) Where's Lono and Duc when I really need them? I could use some Arizona advice.

 If time allows I can swing through the southern part of Utah, maybe see Bryce Canyon and what-not.

That'll allow me to pass through my old friend the Colorado Rockies without dumping $300 for a hotel room.

I can already picture the final leg of my trip across the Nebraska and Iowa plains during winter. Nothing like that stretch of highway to make a person feel real small, but in a nice way.

This is going to be my kind of trip, the kind that involves no reservations, no real itinerary, and no schedule to serve.  Money's tight, and this is the best bang I can think of for $168 bucks. What the hell, you only turn 50 once right?

The Witch of November

A wonderful sad song, and a recurring memory of my youth.

Is it really 34 years ago?




The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee.
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of November turn gloomy.

With a load of iron ore - 26,000 tons more
than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty.
That big ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the gales of November came early.

The ship was the pride of the American side
coming back from some mill in Wisconsin.
As the big freighters go it was bigger than most
with a crew and good Captain well seasoned.

Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
when they left fully loaded for Cleveland.
And later that night when the ship's bell rang,
could it be the North Wind they'd been feeling?

The wind in the wires made a tattletale sound
and a wave broke over the railing.
And every man knew, as the Captain did, too,
t'was the witch of November come stealing!

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
when the gales of November came slashing.
When afternoon came it was freezing rain
in the face of a hurricane West Wind.

When supper time came the old cook came on deck
saying "fellows it's too rough to feed ya."
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
he said "fellas it's been good to know ya."

The Captain wired in he had water coming in
and the big ship and crew was in peril.
And later that night when his lights went out of sight
came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
when the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
if they'd put fifteen more miles behind her.

They might have split up or they might have capsized.
They may have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
in the ruins of her ice water mansion.
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams,
the islands and bays are for sportsmen.

And farther below Lake Ontario
takes in what Lake Erie can send her.
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
with the gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
in the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral.
The church bell chimed, 'til it rang 29 times
for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee.
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
when the gales of November come early.

Gordon Lightfoot 

Walter

Hard to believe it's been 10 years.

In the mid-70s my beloved Bears were shitty. Very, very shitty.

I was 16 in 1975, and very caught up in the sport of football. I was a high school kicker when the Bears picked Walter Payton in the first round of the NFL draft. People think kickers aren't real players. Not real members of the team...until we miss a PAT. Then they get the bigger picture.

I was absolutely obsessed with football, and I followed everything about the Bears. Everything. No idea who this guy was when we picked him 4th in the 1st Round.

That was before the InterWeb TubeNets.

Jackson State?

Whooo-what?

CBS Channel 2 ran some grainy video that night. Bruce Roberts screaming smack and comparisons to Gale Sayers.

Yeah right. But I watched.

Hey, this Payton guy's good.

But maybe he's just running around and over idiots. Maybe he just looks like Superman because his opponents all suck. Or maybe, he's that good. I'm a Bear fan, so I went with he's that good.

He was that good.

For the first 10 years of Walter Payton's career, he was essentially the only reason to watch the Bears games, and I watched every damned one of them.

I had never seen, nor have I seen since, a better football player than Walter Payton. The only other runner I'd put in Wally's class is Barry Sanders. Another guy who could break your ankles.

As a 5'10", 205lb rookie, Walter still had the speed of youth. He could get to the corner. And, because he was Walter, he'd turn that corner, and cut north looking for somebody to run over.

Run out of bounds? Walter Payton? Uh, no not so much.

He'd gain a first down, stiff-arm you into a neck brace, insult your dog, and then help you up off the ground.

For a decade, Walter was the face of this somewhat oldish football franchise while they languished.

The Bears sucked out loud, and yet they'd sell out. People wanted to watch Walter run. He'd gain 100 yards, and people would be happy. Loss? Who gives a shit, did you see that over-the-top springboard thing Walter did?

Walter was also the Bears backup punter, kicker (Yeah baby!!!), and 3rd string QB.

I think one year Walter threw (as a running back) 3 touchdown passes, or maybe it was 10.

They tell me he punted a ball 80 yards up at Lake Forest one day.

But he was always on shitty teams.

And then it happened.

10 years into Walter's career, the Bears defense had one of those weird time-space things where suddenly everyone is a beast.

The line, was Hampton, Fridge, McMichael, and Hartenstein.

The LBs, were Otis Wilson, Mike Singletary, and Wilbur Marshall.

No need to name the D-backs, because nobody ever got through the first two gears of the meat-grinder. (Fencik, Frazier, Richardson, and I forget...Terry Schmitt?)

Heck, even a sucky QB like Jim McMahon had a decent year.

Anyway, finally Walter Payton got to play in a Super Bowl. The 1985 Bears were a force of nature. Best I ever saw. Walter had slowed a step, but he'd given this city so much joy by then, that everyone saw the 46-10 trouncing of the Patriots as the culmination of a career for Walter Payton.

There was some grumbling afterward about Ditka letting Fridge score a TD, and Walter being left with his dick in his hand, but you rarely heard Wally even talk about it. When asked, he'd dodge the question and then stiff-arm the reporter in the mouth before gaining a first down.



In his astonishing NFL career Walter Payton:

Ran for 16,726 yards.
Rushed for 110 touchdowns.
Caught 15 touchdown passes.
Threw for 8 touchdowns.
And, when combining kickoff/punt returns, rushes. passes and catches....accounted for just under 22,000 yards of Bears offense.

On mostly shitty teams.

Twenty two thousand yards. About 13 miles.


Back in the day, for awhile I drove a limo.

It was after Wally had retired.

I was parked in front of the Oak Brook Hills Hotel, when who came walking out the front revolving door but Walter Payton. As he approached me on the sidewalk, I quickly pulled out my airport numbers and jammed a 3 and a 4 in front of my usual number 80.

Now I was American 34.

He saw what I'd done, I made a big production out of it, and he just pointed at me as I saluted him from the driver's seat.

Walter was the shit.

And then it happened.

Walter Payton got sick.

At first he'd kept his illness quiet, but word got out.

We all knew.

10 years ago today, Walter Payton lost his battle with a rare autoimmune liver disease. Even though we knew, it shocked the shit out of this town. People cried when they heard the news. We'd lost family.

While Walter was never a candidate, his wife Connie and their kids have stayed front and center in raising awareness of organ donation, with the help of our Secretary of State Jesse White.

Hey folks, consider organ donation, okay?

Save a life on your way out of the party.