King Richard II

By Proclamation:

WHEREAS, on his 445th birthday this April 23, Shakespeare still speaks to the people of Chicago through timeless words and works; and

WHEREAS, Chicago is recognized as a home for great theater, with over 200 companies following in Shakespeare's model for bold, creative and broadly relevant storytelling on the stage; and

WHEREAS, Shakespeare single-handedly contributed over 1700 words and innumerable phrases to the English language, including but not limited to "auspicious," "monumental," and "all's well that ends well"; and

WHEREAS, in conjunction with Chicago Shakespeare Theater's annual celebration of Shakespeare's birthday, students throughout Chicago will be encouraged to incorporate phrases such as "prithee," "thou," "fie!" and "knave" into their parlance as a way to celebrate the legacy of this language:

NOW,THEREFORE, I, RICHARD M DALEY, MAYOR OF THE CITY OF CHICAGO, do hereby proclaim Shakespeare's birthday, April 23, 2009 to be TALK LIKE SHAKESPEARE DAY in Chicago, and encourage citizens to screw their courage to the sticking place and celebrate Shakespeare by vocal acclimation of his words.

Mayor Richard The Second Daley hath dubbeth the day, and "Speak like Shakespeare Day" in Chicago is that thing that he hath dubbeth it. I shitteth thee not.

The noble Fitz hath told us Blago was ambitious, and Fitz is an honourable man. So are they all, all at the US Attorney's office, all honourable men.

A Rose is a rose is Derrick Rose, who hath been beknighted on the luprical, as that thing that be known as Yearly Toppeth NBA Rookie. Wear thee thy finery and get thee not to a nunnery Derrick.

Out damned Flames, out I say, one game, two games, 'tis time to win this noble NHL series, and let Rene Bourque's evil slashing deeds to live after him, and let his good passes be interred with his bones.

To be stuck in traffic on the Ryan, or not to be stuck in traffic on the Ryan, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the bumper to bumper, or to rideth on The El .....

Oh screw this. People from Chicago don't talk like Shakespeare.

What a stupid idea.