I then pulled around the building and parked my car. Dug around in my briefcase/duffel/catch-all bag and found my camera. I composed myself, put on my game face, and formulated my story. Pulling a few sheets of company stationery from my case, I tossed them in my measuring clipboard and approached these two guys who were standing on the sidewalk.
"So I saw you guys standing here when I mailed my letters, and actually parked my car so I could walk over and talk to you."
"Glad you did."
"I'm Michael."
"Nice to meet you Michael, I'm Dick."
"Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Sure."
"Don't mind me, I need to keep notes."
"That's fine."
"What's the story dude? Gimme the pitch."
"We want to take back the country from the Nazis currently in charge."
"That's Lyndon LaRouche you're talking about?"
"LaRouche PAC. We're representing Mr. LaRouche in getting out the message about the Nazis in Washington, specifically Obama."
"Yeah I noticed you have a little Hitler mustache painted on him."
"He's as bad as Hitler if you think about the health care policy."
"Adolf Hitler."
"That's right, and if you want to talk about the economy, they're calling it "globalism" but it's just a bunch of guys here, this is the Federal Reserve, and these are the banks that got bailed out, and...."
"That's got nothing to do with "globalism." And another thing, the banks got bailed out by Bernanke and Paulson. Those were Bush's guys. They gave the banks 750 billion dollars and they didn't even ask for a fucking receipt!"
"Exactly."
"What do mean Dick? You're calling Obama a Nazi but then you mention the bank bailouts which happened under Bush."
"The Nazi thing refers to his health care program. It's patterned after Hitler's T4 Initiative...."
"Is that a handout?"
"Yeah, but we're asking for support."
"Sorry Dick. I'm not giving anybody any money until I know the facts. I know I'm not entirely happy with the policies Obama's team has come up with, but I also know our health care system is fucked up. Where does LaRouche stand on this? Is he running again in 2012?"
"No. He's not running. But if you read that pamphlet, it covers his views on Obama and Obama's health care ideas....you know, like the Death Panels. We want to end HMOs and rebuild the Hill-Burton Hospital System. Also, it's time to discuss colonizing Mars."
"Mars? Well I agree with that, but I have Blue Cross. I've heard the mention of "death panels" and I think that's already been addressed."
"Well that's what they say! They're liars! Are you aware of the way old people were killed off in Nazi Germany?"
"The legislation does not have any language about panels of people deciding who lives and who dies."
"Just read the pamphlet....."
"Michael."
"...thanks. Just read the pamphlet Michael. You'll see."
"Okay, now about this globalization thing. What's that you're saying about the Federal reserve?"
"We need to realize that if we don't halt globalization...."
"Uh Dick, I think you're a little late on that. The US is not calling the tune anymore."
"Oh yes we are. If you look at the unemployment figures from..."
"From China? Is that what you're going to say?"
"200 million unemployed."
"They also have 1 point something billion people. Our numbers are worse. And their unemployment problem came hand in hand with a newfound love for capitalism. Too bad, we owe China so much money, that we might as well just come out and say it....They own us. The rest of the world is talking about dumping the dollar. We are not going to stop globalization Dick. The world is going to globalize, with us or without us. We need them more than they need us."
"Well, I see what you mean but...."
"But nothing. I came over here to ask you why you're out here at a US Post Office, representing Lyndon LaRouche. I'm unhappy with the 2 Party System, and I'd like to hear some other voices, some new opinions."
"That's who we are."
"No that's not who you are. You're a guy who paints a Nazi mustache on Obama's face, and sets up a card table in front of the US Post Office, in what is probably the whitest border suburb of Chicago. You LaRouche people have one of the Obama is Hitler stands set up down at 79th and Stoney? You want to promote a guy whose message seems to be that Barack Obama is Adolf Hitler. From the pamphlet you gave me here, and I will read it believe me, I'm getting another Nazi vibe with the photoshopping of Obama into an old shot so that it looks like he's having a good laugh with Adolf Hitler and a bunch of fucking Aryan youth."
"Well, I don't decide what pictures they use for the literature."
"I know that Dick. Let me ask you a question, do you mind if I take your picture? I got one from back there, but I want a close-up of your little display here. I'll be blogging about this in about 30 minutes."
"No no, that's fine."
"Smile Dick."
"Excellent, hey one more question,....speaking of Nazis. Ya figure you'd have been able to set up a little anti-Hitler lemonade stand like this in front of one of his post offices in say...oh....1942?"
"Probably not."
"I agree. One more picture. Uhhhh, I'm not sure that guy with no shirt on wants to be in my blog."
"Gotta go. Bye Dick."
ha ha
ReplyDeleteloved this conversation. Did you take a pamphlet?
LaRouche has more supporters than there are Jehovah witnesses, and they are just as irritating.
I did take the pamphlet. The cover says "Act Now to Stop Obama's Nazi Health Plan." It's just like I described it, an old black and white of Adolf Hitler laughing it up with 8 handsome young white people, and Obama has been photoshopped into it.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the whole thing, but it's broken down into 3 parts.
1-End HMOs and rebuild the Hill-Burton Hospital system.
2-Nazi Precedent for Obama Health Plan: It's now time to insist-NEVER AGAIN!
3- Obama's Nazi Doctors and their "reforms."
Astonishing. And the guy, Dick, was like some kind of eyes glazed over Moonie. Un-fuckin-real.
I read this quote on the wikipedia page about LaRouche and thought how that reminded me of a person or two on BOTF>
ReplyDeleteLaRouche had a gargantuan ego. Convinced he was a genius, he combined his strong conviction in his own abilities with an arrogance expressed in the cadences of upper-class New England. He assumed that the comment in the Communist Manifesto that "a small section of the ruling class cuts itself adrift, and joins the revolutionary class..." was written specifically for him. And he believed that the working class were lucky to obtain his services. LaRouche possessed a marvelous ability to place any world happening in a larger context, which seemed to give the event additional meaning, but his thinking was schematic, lacking factual detail and depth. It was contradictory. His explanations were a bit too pat, and his mind worked so quickly that I always suspected his bravado covered over superficiality. He had an answer for everything. Sessions with him reminded me of a parlor game: present a problem, no matter how petty, and without so much as blinking his eye, LaRouche would dream up the solution.[2
Awesome. I only wish you photoshopped a Hitler mustache on dick. It would have been fitting.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of some of the Fraysters I've encountered while talking with Dick. You can walk them right up to the threshold of common sense, but then they just glaze over.
ReplyDeleteAt one point I asked Dick "As far as the health care thing, are you worried that the cost will go up, or that the quality will go down?"
His answer..."Yes."
Now, if I was talking to someone clever, I'd have been impressed by the singular answer to a compound question. But Dick is not a clever guy. So he just started stammering about Nazi Germany again. Reciting.
He is the street corner equivalent of a bad telemarketer.
Off-topic but Where the @#!*&! is zeus-boy?
ReplyDeleteWe have now watched the first 10 Deadwood episodes and Al reminds me of him. So fucking poetic--Brilliant.
Not sure. I know he's starting a new term, so he's probably going through course prep or something.
ReplyDeleteIf you watch LOST, you may have noticed the girl who played the cancer patient who miraculously gets pregnant is the same girl who plays Calamity Jane in Deadwood. Robin Weigert
Also, if you recall the movie Something About Mary, the guy who played her brother Warren is the same guy who plays Dan Dority , Al's buddy in Deadwood. (W Earl Brown)
Al Swearingen is one of the greatest TV characters ever.
I wouldn't have guessed with Jane. Weigert is so brilliant in that role@
ReplyDeleteGod, I love this show!
(Not that I had to or anything, or that it's about me, but I did enjoy it, etc.)
ReplyDeleteDude, what's up with the spontaneous deletions? Wanted to say something dripping envy about your concert post.
ReplyDeleteThanks K. It was a blast, and a reminder of how much I need to start exercising. Must have walked 5 miles, and Monday...the legs man, the legs. Fucking lactic acid!
ReplyDeleteThe deletions? There was a small problem that I didn't want to see become a large one.